|me:||hey whats up....................slime man|
|girl:||do you have a signature on your texts or something|
how the fuck does Old Man Jenkins weigh 250 pounds if Spongebob weighs 1 ounce
i dont have time for children who refuse to eat food unless you’ve cut it into some pretty little shapes rn 827 million people in the world are starving but oh no u cant eat some fucking cucumber because mummy didnt cut a flower into it well we’ll see how much u appreciate nice patterns when i carve one into ur forehead mate now eat ur shitting salad
Ellen gives Edgar the pizza guy at the Oscars a $1,000 tip (x)
I love when celebrities just give away huge amounts of money to random people because $1,000 can mean so much to somebody who works a minimum wage job.